Annie

Yesterday, I came home and was thinking about what I wanted to share next. As I gathered my thoughts and began to plan, my grandmother began to yell. “Teresa, come help your old grandmother!” I laughed. For the last six months or so, she has called me, Nurse. I referred to her as a 95 year old toddler in a previous post. I got the toddler term from one of my FB friends. I wish I could find the post because it made me laugh. He stated he wanted to send his toddler outside with bells on her shoe. The bells would help him keep up with her while she wore herself out playing outside. If I find the post I’ll share it. But let me get back to Annie. My toddler has taken a toll on me. The only thing she can do is feed herself and wipe her butt. I've even had to assist with that...whew! I’ve had her for almost two years now. She often said to me…the old girl is going down slow. I concur. The same things I have to do for myself as I prepare for my day, I have to do for her. In the beginning it was just me taking care of her. I have help now, but I would have never imagined this day.

My grandmother was part of my village that helped raise me. I moved with my grandmother and grandfather when I was in the 5th grade. I would come home from school to a home cooked meal and a dessert. She and I went to the hairdresser every two weeks. Once we were done with our hair it was time to shop. Northland and River Roads were her spots. When she didn't cook a dessert, we had to go to Straub’s to get a cake. I remember one of my coworkers telling me after my grandfather passed my grandmother wouldn’t be here long; so be prepared. My grandfather, James Seals, died on April 27, 1999. I believe my children are one of the things that kept her going after his death. Right now today she knows my children by name. All five of’em. She even knows Tiara, Antonio and Trenay have children. She has been a part of my children's village as well.

I’ve often heard people say you only get one mother. I can argue that’s not true. One person can give you a birthday but someone else can love you like they birthed you is how that saying should really go. Oh, and she remembers my mother. My dad has a whole wife. He married this chic when I was 16. Now my granny and my dad talk daily throughout the day. She often asks him about my mother. I want him to ask him about it but he doesn’t like the way I tell jokes, I mean ask him questions….lol He said I can be disrespectful at times. This is not his day, so I’ll save my daddy topic for another day. I am Annie's first grandchild and only granddaughter. She gave birth to two boys. My dad and my uncle Greg. My uncle passed away in 2006. She was the youngest of three. She has outlived all of her family and friends that were around her age. She only has one cousin that's around her age left. Now she is in a room across from mine. Baybee she be in that room talking to James, her momma, her sister, Greg and God only knows who else at 2 & 3 in the morning. One day my daughter asked her who she was talking to. She said James. My daughter asked her was he in the room now. She said he was but she doesn't see him now. I have had plenty of restless nights because of her late night conversations. These late nights are similar to being with an infant who wakes you up in the middle of the night. That's why the term toddler is befitting. The love she has given me throughout my life like she birthed me makes it a little easier on me as I work with my toddler.

Before I close I want to say this to each of you. We know where we’ve been but we don’t know where we are going. Get you a journal. Write your business down. You may want to journal about your everyday life. However, there are some other things you may want to put in it. I’m just going to post some words…..passwords, stock, annuities, back account information, life insurance, obituary, retirement, living will and advance directives for medical decisions, power of attorney….. I can go on but just think of this…. What would you do if you only had three days left to live? Now you may be saying, Teresa, what the hell does that have to do with your grandmother?Let me tell you... I’ve had to get the majority of Annie’s affairs in order. It has been a stressful roller coaster. We are going to age and things we don’t imagine will happen. Control your narrative while you can. Everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way…. I probably could never pay Annie back for all that she’s done for me. I am still learning about life with her and through her. So for now I will continue to be her caregiver or Nurse as she calls me. I will care for her as she has cared for me. For now and as long as I can, I will continue to help my old grandmother…… To be continue….